the only one who knows my heart
by Ciara2531
Summary: AU post 3x12. Title taken from a fan vid on YT by melodyofafallentree. "People around me keep dying or getting hurt and I'm scared that I'm going to lose them all or they're going to lose me."
1. Prologue

**A/N - So this is...an experiment. My writer's block has been flaring up so I needed to tackle some kind of fanfic to counter act it. I've only just come into the PLL fandom and I've never written for it before. My brain has been turning all the characters and several scenarios around to try and find the best starting point. I keep coming back to Jason and Aria because I'm just a sucker for angst and for tortured pretty boys with daddy issues - Damon, Eric, Jax, Jaime, John Ross and now Jason. It occurred to me half way through writing the first actual chapter of this that it might have been nice to have a situation where Jason was leaning on Aria instead of the all to unoriginal reverse. Hindsight and all that. Oh well.**

**I apologize for the unusually long author's note. This is just a prologue and if you're actually interested in reading more please do review and let me know so. Thanks!**

* * *

Jason Di Laurentis paced the sterile confines of the hospital waiting room like a restless lion trapped in a cage. Fear was a thick, coppery taste in his mouth and no matter how hard he tried to shake the images away, the sight of Aria Montgomery, lying still and bloody on the floor of the Marin kitchen kept flashing before his eyes.

His thoughts were racing too: How long had she been there? What if he'd come too late? What kind of sick bastard would do something like this? Attack someone as beautiful and delicate as Aria? If only Spencer had called him sooner maybe he could have got there in time to stop it.

It was an endless loop and Jason shoved his hands in his hair in a vain attempt to get them to stop shaking.

"Jason!"

He turned at the sound of his name and found Spencer rushing towards him.

"Where is she?" Spencer demanded.

"Surgery," Jason said, struggling to get even that one word past the lump in his throat. It didn't matter to him that he and Aria had barely spoken since the day he'd found her kissing her teacher in his driveway. His feelings for her hadn't changed and the fear that she might not make it through this was paralyzing. He'd already lost too much. He didn't think he could bear to lose Aria even if she wasn't his to lose.

"What happened?" Spencer asked.

Jason shook his head. "I have…"

He paused to clear his throat.

"I have no idea," he finally said. "You called. I drove over there. It took five minutes tops. The front door was wide open and I could see broken glass in the hallway."

He swallowed hard.

"I found her in the kitchen," he said. "She was bleeding…"

He trailed off. Spencer didn't need the details and he still wasn't past the terror and panic he'd felt when he'd first found Aria.

"This is my fault," Spencer said, wrapping her arms around herself. "I never should have let her go alone. But the doctors sedated Emily because she was so out of it and Hanna is a mess over Caleb and Aria said she'd be fine and it was easier to just believe but I…."

"Stop," Jason said. "The twisted psycho that did this to her is responsible, not you. Beating yourself up isn't going to help you or Aria. "

He slipped his arm around Spencer's shoulder and she leaned into him, crying against his arm. They'd had bad nights since Alli's disappearance and A coming into their lives but this was still among the worst and Spencer was getting very near her breaking point.

"Thank you," Spencer sniffed. "For being here, for going to look for her."

"You don't have to thank me," Jason said. "You're my family."

_And I love her_, he added silently.

"Jason Di Laurentis?" queried a nurse holding a clipboard.

"Yeah?" Jason said, standing up. The nurse gestured to him so he crossed the room to her side and after confirming that he'd been the one to bring Aria in, she gave him an update.

"They're wheeling her out of surgery now," the nurse informed him. "She had a few nasty gashes on her head but the doctors don't think there was any brain damage."

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a small sigh of relief.

"However," the nurse continued. She paused and looked at him uncertainly. "I'm not sure if you were aware or even if she was aware but Miss Montgomery was seven weeks pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Jason repeated in a dumbfounded whisper.

"She lost the baby," the nurse finished in a rush. "I'm so sorry."

Jason slumped back against the wall, his mind racing for a whole new host of reasons now. Aria had been pregnant and there was a chance that she didn't even know it. He thought about telling Spencer or even about calling Fitz since presumably he had been the baby's father.

In the end Jason decided against any of that. He'd talk to Aria first and see how she wanted to handle it and in the meantime he'd consider it their secret.

"When can I see her?" he asked.

"In a few minutes," the nurse said. "I'll have someone come get you."

Jason nodded and made his way back to Spencer's side.

"She's out of surgery," he informed her. "They don't think there's going to be any permanent damage."

"Thank god," Spencer said. Then as if the idea had only just occurred to her she asked if he'd been able to get in touch with Aria's parents.

"I spoke to Ella," Jason said. "Apparently they're out of town at some retreat with Mike. They'll be here as soon as they can."

"God, I can't believe this night," Spencer said.

Jason looked her over, taking in all the signs of stress and fatigue. "You should probably go home and try to get some rest."

Spencer shook her head stubbornly. "I want to see Aria," she said. "And then I'm going back upstairs to check on Hanna and Emily."

"Did you tell them what happened?"

Spencer shook her head. "Emily's still out and I didn't want to add more to Hanna's plate."

"You shouldn't have to shoulder everything alone," Jason said.

"You're here," Spencer pointed out.

"That's not what I meant," Jason started.

Before he could finish, another nurse showed up to lead them to Aria's room. She was coming to just as they walked in. For reasons that Spencer couldn't have explained if you'd asked her, she fell back a little and let Jason approach Aria first.

He rounded the foot of her hospital bed and carefully sat down on the other side of it, leaving Spencer to walk closer on the near side.

"Jason?" Aria mumbled weakly.

"I'm here," Jason said softly, taking one her hands in his.

"Thought was dream…" Aria rasped.

"It wasn't a dream," Jason said. "But you're safe now. Everything's going to be okay."

Aria's other hand shifted awkwardly towards her stomach since she was still too weak and disoriented to move it properly. But apparently not so disoriented that she didn't remember she'd been pregnant.

"Baby?" she whispered.

Spencer frowned and was about to ask what baby but Jason was already answering Aria's question.

"There's not going to be a baby anymore," he said gently. "I'm sorry, so sorry."

Aria closed her eyes but that didn't stop the tears from trickling out. Jason wiped them off her cheek with his thumb and a little to his surprise, Aria leaned into his touch rather than away from it.

Definitively deciding that her presence was _de trop_, Spencer gestured quietly to Jason that she was leaving. She'd no sooner closed the door softly behind her than her phone chimed with a text message.

_Bitches are dropping like flies. Who will fall next? – A_


	2. Part I

**A/N *waves* Thanks to all of you who were kind enough to review this. I realized belatedly that the moderate feature was on for guest reviews (really no clue how that happened but it's off now) so those reviews that haven't been appearing on FF should be up now or shortly. As for the actual story, I confess, I don't have a plan or a plot in mind so I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants here. Hopefully it works. My one intention going into this was to keep it short (we'll see how that works out!) so that's why there might be time jumps or certain things that get skimmed over. I might do an outtake or two though at some point down the line. Anyway, enough out of me. I hope you enjoy this and I really do appreciate each and all of your reviews!**_  
_

* * *

_Part I_

Two weeks after being released from the hospital, Aria was still very much worse for the wear. Not so much physically – the gashes on her forehead were healing and the hospital's plastic surgeon had done a flawless job – as emotionally.

Despite the sedatives the doctors had sent her home with, she wasn't sleeping well. She kept having these shadowy nightmares and she didn't know if they were just dreams or if her brain was trying to force images of what had happened that night back to the surface.

Either way, they left her feeling drained and more exhausted than ever when she woke up. She'd barely gotten out of bed in all the time that she'd been home. Her parents were hovering, clearly worried sick about her – her mom had even moved back in temporarily – but Aria had rejected all their attempts to get her to open up about the attack or about the miscarriage.

Not only didn't Aria want to talk about those things, she didn't feel _safe _talking about those things. How many times had A proved that she could get into any of their houses, could get to any of the people that they cared about? There wasn't anyone who could protect them and the fear that she'd been living with, that they'd all been living with, since A appeared was worse than ever.

Aria didn't even remember what safe felt like anymore. The closest she'd come in recent memory was when…

When Jason had held her hand in the hospital and wiped her tears away after telling her she'd lost her baby. She'd felt comforted, Aria realized. It wasn't the same thing as feeling safe but it was much better than all the alternatives. Suddenly experiencing that feeling again was the only thing that Aria could think about.

Pushing the covers back, she slid out of bed on shaky legs and managed to stumble into her bathroom. She stripped off and took a hot shower and then dressed in a clean pair of yoga pants and a red hoodie. She shoved her feet into a pair of sneakers and was just about to open her door when she heard her phone ring.

She picked it up from her bedside table but dropped it on the bed when she saw that it was Ezra calling for the umpteenth time. She'd ignored all his calls and texts and her parents had turned him away every time he'd shown up at the house.

She hadn't felt like talking in general but she especially hadn't felt like talking to him. There were too many thoughts and feelings bottled up inside her about their relationship and the baby that she'd lost. She didn't even know if Ezra knew about the miscarriage.

Unlike her friends who accepted her silence, taking turns just sitting with her and trying their best to support her, Aria knew that Ezra would get frustrated if she didn't talk to him and she simply wasn't up to it. She couldn't handle worrying about his feelings when she could barely sort through her own.

The phone started to ring again so Aria left it there and slipped out of her room. She crossed the hall to Mike's room and opened the door without knocking. Her brother looked up but he didn't say anything as she walked straight over to his window and proceeded to climb out.

She landed on the ground a little bit harder than she would have liked but on her two feet just the same. The walk to the DiLaurentis house was short and Aria shifted her weight from side to side as she waited for Jason to open the door.

"Aria," he said, surprise evident in his tone. She couldn't blame him for that. He'd come to see her a few times while she was still in the hospital and had texted her once she got home. But she'd only replied to him the once, explaining that she needed some time on her own. Now, here she was on his front porch out of the blue.

"Hi," Aria said, scanning his face for signs that he was displeased to see her. There were none. Instead, he stepped back and held the door open so she could come in side. She stepped into the front hall and then turned back to face him. He'd closed the door and seemed to be studying her just as carefully as she'd been studying him.

"Can I get you anything?" he finally asked.

Aria licked her lips.

"A hug?" she asked.

Jason's expression softened as he closed the distance between them in a few steps. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around her, his hand cradling the back of her head and bringing it to rest against his chest.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Aria felt the tension in her body ease and she relaxed. She slipped her arms around Jason's waist and let herself get lost in the feeling of being held by someone who didn't feel as breakable as she did.

Aria wasn't sure how long they stayed like that and she didn't care.

"If there's anything I can do to make this better for you, just tell me," Jason murmured, his chin resting on the top of her head.

"Could you listen?" Aria asked tentatively, leaning back to look up at him. She hadn't come over here planning to talk, to confide in him but it suddenly seemed like the right thing. Things been strained between them after he'd confessed his feelings and she'd told him that she wasn't available. But when she'd been hurt, he'd come for her. That was all it took to remind her who Jason really was and why she'd always been so drawn to him.

"Of course," he said to her now. He gently unwrapped her arms from around him and led her to the couch in the living room. They sat down and Aria only hesitated for a few seconds before she scrambled into his lap and curled herself against him. Jason's arms settled around her immediately and Aria tucked her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder.

"I'm scared all the time," she started. "People around me keep dying or getting hurt and I'm scared that I'm going to lose them all or they're going to lose me. And it feels like it could happen anywhere, anytime."

She toyed absently with the one of the buttons on his shirt.

"I thought with Mona locked up it would end," Aria said. "But it hasn't. Life feels more out of control than ever. I'm overwhelmed and I feel…broken."

The word was out of her mouth before she really stopped to process it but it was the truth. She hadn't been thinking about the miscarriage. She'd been thinking about how close she felt to the edge and how she didn't know if she was strong enough to take much more of A's torture. But those thoughts had somehow brought her to this, to this feeling that a piece of her was missing because she'd lost a child. A child that she hadn't come to terms with and that she wasn't completely certain that she'd wanted.

Her uncertainty didn't stop her from grieving.

"For whatever it's worth," Jason said. "I don't think you're broken. I think you've suffered a lot of hurts and you've been through more than most people twice your age ever go through. But you're strong and you'll heal."

"How can you be so sure?" Aria wanted to know.

"Because I know you," Jason said.

And that was answer enough for now Aria decided. She snuggled a little bit closer to him. "Can I stay here?" she asked.

"For as long as you want," Jason said. Then added, "Do your parents know where you are?"

Aria bit her lip guiltily and Jason gave a small shake of his head. He reached into his pocket for his cell phone and texted Ella that Aria was with him, that she was staying for dinner and would be home later.

Thankfully, Aria's parents hadn't noticed that she'd left the house so they hadn't had time to panic.

"Are you hungry?" Jason asked.

"I am actually," Aria said. She hadn't had much of an appetite lately, struggling to get down anything more than buttered toast in the mornings so she was a little surprised to find herself craving something more substantial.

"Anything in particular?" Jason asked.

"Pizza," Aria said. "Anchovies and…"

"Capers and olives," Jason finished. "I remember."

"How do you remember?' Aria asked.

"Mostly because it sounded extremely gross until you made me try it," Jason said.

"I dared you," Aria recalled.

"You did," Jason agreed.

He reached for his phone to call in their pizza order and Aria reached for the remote to the TV. She settled on Tom & Jerry re-runs on Cartoon Network.

"I wasn't ready to be anyone's mother," she announced suddenly. Jason had been off the phone for a while and watching the cartoons with her in silence. "I know that. I would probably been awful so why does it bother me so much?"

"Whether you were ready or not, the baby was still a part of you," Jason said. "I don't see any reason why you shouldn't feel sad about losing it if you want to."

"When I found out…" Aria said. "All I could think was that it was another complication, in my life and in my relationship with Ezra. I mean he _just_ found out that he has a son."

Jason's eyebrow went up at that so Aria explained about Maggie and Malcolm.

"He keeps calling me and texting me and I keep ignoring him," Aria said. "Because every time I see his name or picture his face all I can think about is this baby we made and that doesn't exist anymore. And I keep thinking that having a baby would have ruined us but not having it is ruining us anyway."

She wiped the backs of her hands over her cheeks, dashing away the tears that were dropping from her eyelashes.

"I used to believe that the things worth having were worth fighting for," Aria said. "But it feels wrong. It feels like loving someone shouldn't need this much work and it shouldn't make you feel so tired."

"I'm sorry," Jason said after a moment.

Aria turned to look at him. "Why are you sorry?" she asked.

"Because you're hurting and there's nothing I can do," Jason said. "I can't tell you what the right thing is. Only you know that. You just have to give yourself some time to figure out what it is."

"Why are you so good to me?" Aria asked quietly.

"Because I care," Jason said.

It wasn't the whole truth and they both knew it.

The doorbell rang and Jason eased Aria off his lap so he could answer it. Minutes later they were settled back in front of the TV with cans of soda as they ate pizza right out of the box, completely unaware that across town Ezra was opening a photo text message from A.


	3. Part II

**A/N Thanks again to all of those who have left reviews. I appreciate all of them. I was thinking about this chapter in particular when I talked about doing outtakes for "missing" scenes. This chapter also feels like it's still setting the scene for what comes next. I'm not entirely sure what that is. I just go where the plot bunnies lead. Thanks for coming on that ride with me :-) Enjoy!**

* * *

Part II

Jason blinked his eyes open and winced. He'd slept in the armchair in his bedroom and as comfortable as it was for him to sit in, it wasn't made for his 6foot frame to sleep comfortably. Still, it was a small price to pay for seeing Aria sleep so peacefully in his bed.

She'd fallen asleep not long after having a cup of hot chocolate in lieu of dessert last night and he hadn't had the heart to wake her up to send her home. So after sending her mother another text, he'd carefully carried her upstairs to his bedroom. He'd thought briefly about putting her in Alli's old room but even with the changes he'd made he suspected that might have been weird for her, especially if she woke up in the middle of the night.

Besides which, there was a part of him that simply wanted to see her there, in his bed, in his room, surrounded by his things. That same part of him was relishing everything about opening his eyes and having her face be the first thing he saw. He drank her in and committed the sight to memory.

It was weird how things happened. For all that he'd pictured waking up next to Aria more than once, it had never been under these circumstances. With the way things had been between them before she was attacked and hell, even after. She'd been keeping her distance and Jason had resigned himself to it.

He and Aria had never really been friends. They'd always teetered on the edge of something…more. He figured that after the kind of trauma that she'd experienced, she needed the comfort of the familiar – her friends and her family.

And then she'd turned up on his doorstep last night seeking comfort from him. Denying her that hadn't even crossed his mind. He'd do whatever he could to help her and worry about the consequences – and he didn't doubt there would be many - to his own peace of mind later.

Aria's eyes fluttered open and the hazel orbs locked on his. "Jason?" she queried.

"Hey," he said, his voice a bit scratchy from sleep.

Aria pushed herself up on her elbow. "Did you sleep in that chair?" she asked frowning. She didn't wait for him to answer. "You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't want too go far in case you woke up and were freaked out not to be home," he said.

Aria didn't state the obvious, which was that there was more than enough room in the bed for the both of them. She figured that would be opening a can of worms that neither she nor Jason was ready to deal with. So instead, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and gestured for him to come over.

"Well, you can lay down properly now," she said. "I'll go make breakfast."

Jason started to protest but Aria cut him off.

"Don't argue with me," she warned.

Jason smirked at her and the expression was so familiar that Aria felt her own lips turning up in a small smile.

"I can be bossy too, you know," she said.

"I see that," Jason said as he crossed the room.

Aria held back the covers and Jason dutifully got between them. It was like climbing into her, he thought to himself. The sheets and pillows had absorbed the scent of her skin and the hint of orange in her shampoo. He was surrounded by her smell and he found himself actually drifting off to sleep as Aria headed downstairs to the kitchen.

When he woke up again, he found Aria curled into the armchair with a cup of coffee in her hands.

"There was nothing edible in your refrigerator," she informed him. "So I went to the bakery for bagels and Danish. Borrowed your car, hope that's okay."

"It's fine," Jason said, sitting up. "How long was I out?"

"Only two hours," Aria said. She took a sip of her coffee and tried not to stare as Jason stretched. "So you have plans for today?" she asked.

"Nothing set in stone," Jason said. "Why?"

He started to ask when she was going back to school but decided against it. Her parents had probably figured that she should only head back when she felt ready for it.

"No reason," Aria said. "I was just wondering if I could hang out here. I mean, unless you're already tired of me."

She said it lightly but Jason didn't miss the nervous nibble of her bottom lip. He gave her a knowing look. "Avoiding your family?" he asked.

Aria sighed. "I know they mean well," she said. "There's just all this silent pressure to talk and I…"

She shook her head.

"You know they're just worried, right?" Jason asked.

"I know," Aria said. "Somehow that doesn't seem to make any difference."

"Okay," Jason said. "I was going to run some errands in Philly. Why don't you come with me? We'll make a day out of it."

"Really?" Aria asked.

"Yeah," Jason said. "But first I need caffeine and you probably want to run home and change."

Aria nodded and they headed downstairs. Jason was doctoring his coffee and Aria was toasting the bagels since she'd promised to fix breakfast, when the doorbell rang.

"I can get it," Aria said, since she was closer. She swung the door open never imagining for a minute that she'd find Ezra on the other side. She gaped at him, stunned for several seconds before words came to her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked hoarsely.

"I got a text message from A telling me this is where you were," he said soberly. "Were you ever going to answer my calls?"

"I left my phone at home," Aria said automatically.

Ezra gave her a look and Aria could see the concern etching itself on his face as he looked at her. She'd lost weight and despite the fact that she'd slept better last night than she had in weeks, she still looked exhausted.

"Why didn't you come to me?" Ezra asked.

"I…" Aria started.

"Aria, is everything okay?" Jason asked, walking over from the kitchen. His entire demeanor changed when he caught sight of Ezra. He looked down at Aria, noticed that the little color she'd had in her face had drained again and that her knuckles had turned white where she was clutching the doorknob.

He gently peeled her fingers away and angled his body in front of hers.

"I'll handle this," he murmured to her, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. He fixed Ezra with a hard look. "You can't be here right now," he said firmly.

"I don't think that's your call to make," Ezra said.

"Considering this is my property," Jason said. "It's definitely my call. But this isn't even about that. It's about Aria. It's about the fact that she's been through hell and the last thing she needs is you forcing a confrontation that she's not ready for."

Ezra looked like he wanted to argue further.

"Look," Jason said. "You say you love Aria and I actually believe you mean it. Prove me right and give her the time and space that she needs. She'll come talk to you when she's ready."

Ezra sighed knowing that even if he wanted to, he wasn't going to get past Jason and into that house to speak to Aria.

"Tell her that I'm here for her," Ezra said. "She just has to let me be."

"I'll pass it on," Jason said.

Ezra turned and walked away. Jason waited until the other man had gotten into his car and driven off before he went back inside. Aria was sitting on the bottom step, her arms wrapped around her knees.

Jason crouched down so they were more or less eye level and scanned her face.

"I'd almost convinced myself that maybe I could handle it," Aria said. "Seeing him but…"

She shook her head.

"He's not going to blindside you again," Jason said. "I promise."

"How do you do that?" Aria asked. "Make it seem like everything's going to be fine, going to go according to plan even though the odds are that _nothing_ will go according to plan and _everything_ will be as messed up tomorrow as it is right now."

Jason gave her knee a quick squeeze and then shifted so he was sitting next to her on the stairs.

"Getting clean was…rough," Jason said. "But I was lucky enough to have a sponsor who believed…to be honest I'm still not sure why he was so convinced that I was going to make it but he was."

Jason linked his hands together and looked straight ahead.

"He told me that if I just took every day as it came, I'd eventually get where I was going," Jason continued. "And he'd tell me that sometimes the only thing you need to get through another day is for someone else to believe you can."

He glanced over at her.

"It worked for me," he said. "So I figured it might work for you too."

Aria felt tears prick the backs of her eyes at his sincerity. How was it, she wondered, that the person she'd pushed the furthest out of her life was the only one who seemed to understand what she really needed? More than that, the only one who seemed to understand her?

"I don't deserve you," Aria said softly, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Too bad," Jason said with a small smile. "You're stuck with me anyway."

* * *

"Thank you for today," Aria said. "I had a really good time."

"I'm glad to hear that," Jason said.

Aria smiled at him. When they'd left Rosewood this morning, she'd been hoping for a few hours of distraction at best. She hadn't imagined that she would actually be able to push away all her problems and her fears and be in the moment.

But Jason had made it easy. After taking care of a few things at his office, he'd driven them to Franklin Square and challenged her to a game of mini golf. It had been years since she last played and even though she lost, she'd had fun.

They'd had lunch at a Japanese steakhouse near Penn's Landing and spent the rest of the afternoon trolling art galleries. It was the first time in forever that Aria hadn't felt like a victim (A's) or a secret (Ezra's) or an oddity to gawked at (by the entire town). She'd felt like Aria and it felt good.

"See you soon?" Aria asked.

"Sure," Jason agreed.

Aria's smile stretched wider and she leaned across the console to kiss his cheek.

"Good night, Jason," she said, opening the car door and climbing out.

"Good night, Aria," Jason said.

Closing the car door, Aria scampered up the walk to her front door. With one foot inside she turned back around to wave, knowing that Jason was waiting to see her safely inside before he drove off.

"This is nice," Ella commented, walking towards Aria.

"What?" Aria asked.

"You," Ella said. "Smiling. It's been a while since I've seen that."

Aria shrugged a little uncomfortably.

"Your dad and Mike went to pick up dinner," Ella said. "You going to join us?"

Aria started to say no but changed her mind. Sitting down with the family for a meal might make her parents more amenable when she asked about going back to school sooner than Dr. Sullivan had suggested.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Byron asked, when Aria brought it up half way through dinner.

"Honestly, no," Aria said. "But I won't know unless I try. I want my life back and staying at home focusing on everything that happened isn't my life."

"Aria, what you went through," her mother began.

"Is something I have to process in my own way," Aria interrupted. "Please let me do that."

"I think what your mother was trying to get at is that you don't have deal with this on your own," Byron said.

"I'm not trying to deal with it on my own," Aria said. "I'm trying to deal with it, period."

Byron and Ella exchanged looks.

"See how you feel tomorrow," Ella said. "If you want to go to school in the morning, okay. On one condition."

"Which is?" Aria asked.

"You come home if it's too much," Ella said.

"Okay," Aria said.

"Promise?" Ella pressed.

"I promise," Aria said.


	4. Part III

Part III

"Aria!"

Turning around at the sound of her name, Aria spotted Hanna, Emily and Spencer walking towards her.

"We didn't know you were coming back today," Spencer said.

"Last minute decision," Aria explained.

"How are you?" Emily asked.

"I'm…a little better," Aria said.

She reached out and rubbed Hanna's arm.

"How are you?" she asked. "How's Caleb?"

"Still in the hospital," Hanna said. "But the doctors say he's recovering well. His mom is here too."

"How's that going?" Aria asked.

"He pretended to be annoyed that she'd made the trip but I think he's happy," Hanna said with a small smile.

Aria smiled back and turned to Emily.

"And you?" Aria asked. "How are you handling…everything?"

"At this point I don't know how I'm handling anything," Emily said. "It feels like ever since Alli's body was first found, it's been one thing after another."

"It feels that way because it _is_ that way," Spencer pointed out.

"You holding up okay, Spence?" Aria asked.

"Me?" Spencer repeated. "Of course. Why would you ask that? Did Jason say something?"

"No," Aria said, giving her a strange look. "But I know you. Things have been so crazy with the rest of us, even if you weren't fine you wouldn't say anything."

"She's got a point," Hanna said.

"And why would Jason say anything to Aria about you?" Emily questioned. "And when?"

Aria and Spencer exchanged looks. It was obvious that Spencer knew where and with who Aria had spent the day yesterday but that didn't answer Emily's first question.

Luckily for Spencer, the bell rang signaling that it was time for class.

"We should hang out after school," Hanna said. "We apparently have some catching up to do. My place?"

Spencer shot her a pointed look.

"Shit," Hanna said, turning to look at Aria apologetically. "I didn't mean…"

"It's okay," Aria said. "I mean, I can't avoid your house forever."

"Not forever," Spencer said. "But maybe a little bit longer than two and a half weeks. Why don't we meet at my house instead?"

"Much better plan," Hanna said quickly.

"Fine by me," Emily agreed.

Aria nodded and the four of them went off to their separate classes. For the first couple of periods, Aria was alright. There was something numbing about the familiarity of being in a classroom. All too soon though, she realized that she was completely distracted.

Her thoughts were drifting all over the place; to the baby and what it might have been like to feel life growing inside her, to Ezra and to Jason. For reasons that Aria couldn't explain to herself, the feelings she had about the baby weren't tied to Ezra at all. In her mind's eye she couldn't for the life of her picture a little boy or a little girl that was equal parts her and him. Instead what she imagined was something much less tangible. Which was probably why the loss she felt was so intangible too.

It was the loss of possibility, Aria realized and she couldn't help wondering if that wasn't a reflection of her relationship with Ezra. Had she denied herself the possibility of something else, something better by being so committed to him?

When she thought about how sweet and patient Jason had been with her since the attack, she couldn't help thinking the answer was yes.

With Ezra, she'd experienced a lot of emotions, very intensely. There was the obvious physical attraction and the intellectual attraction too. She'd been drawn to his experience and she could even admit, looking back on it, that there'd been a certain charge, a thrill that came from the illicitness of it all. That thrill had faded though and Aria was beginning to question whether what was left was really what she wanted.

When she was with Ezra, she felt like one or the other of them was making an effort to make their time together feel right. It didn't just happen. It was work. And when he said he loved her and that she could depend on him, she couldn't help thinking there was something a little hollow about the words. Maybe because in the moments she'd really needed them to, his actions hadn't matched those words.

It was all the opposite of Jason. He'd only told her how he felt the one time but she didn't need the words to know. It was in everything he'd done for her, from not turning Mike into the police to dropping everything to go look for her when Spencer had called him. And, Aria recognized, it was in the way he made _her_ feel – accepted, understood, cherished. Honestly, there were times when he made her feel like she was the most important thing in the world to him with just one look.

Ezra had never done that because she _wasn't_ the most important thing in the world to him. He'd had his job to consider. Now he had a son. Aria could never be his first priority and instead of feeling bitter about it, she found herself feeling relieved.

So when third period History let out, instead of heading to her next class, Aria skipped out of school to drive to Hollis. She was grateful not to run into Jackie on her way to Ezra's office but her luck didn't hold. The door was open so she could plainly see that he and Maggie were deep in conversation.

Under other circumstances, she might have left and come back later. But she suddenly wanted this conversation over with. So she knocked on the door.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked.

"No, of course not," Ezra said. "Maggie and I were working out when I can see Malcolm again but we can finish later."

Maggie, correctly getting the hint that it was time for her to leave, stood up. "I'll call you," she said to Ezra.

"Great," Ezra said.

Maggie nodded to Aria on her way out but she didn't say anything. Aria stepped into the office and nudged the door closed behind her.

Immediately, Ezra was at her side, attempting to wrap his arms around her but Aria stepped out of his reach. She picked her way over to the couch and sat down on the edge of it.

"I don't really know how to start this conversation," she admitted.

Ezra sat down next to her and Aria could see the effort it was taking him not to reach out and touch her. She appreciated his restraint, didn't think she was up to having his hands on her at the moment.

"I know about the miscarriage," he said solemnly. "Your Dad told me. Although I don't think he meant to. It kind of slipped out."

He paused.

"Aria, why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Ezra asked. "I would have been there for you. We…"

"You ever realize how many times you say that to me?" Aria interrupted. "That you'll be there for me or you would have been there for me? It's always future tense and hypotheticals. It's always my fault for not telling you, never yours for not noticing."

"I'm not sure what to say to that," Ezra said, his face showing all the surprise and hurt he felt at her words.

Aria sighed.

"I didn't come here to pick a fight with you," Aria said. "And I'm not lashing out and trying to hurt your feelings. I just…"

She fidgeted with her bracelet.

"You asked why I didn't tell you," Aria said. "It's because with everything going on, I needed to figure out how I felt about it first. If I'd told you, I'd have been worrying about what you felt and what you wanted. I would have ended up making a decision that was more about you than about me."

"You think I would have pressured you into…" Ezra started.

"No," Aria said. "That's not what I'm saying."

"What are you saying?" Ezra asked.

Aria pressed her lips together, trying to find the right words.

"What do you want from me, Aria?" Ezra asked.

"That's just it," Aria finally said. "Nothing."

Ezra blinked at her in disbelief. "Are you breaking up with me?" he asked.

"We're going in different directions," Aria said with a tiny shrug. "It feels over."

"Not to me," Ezra said. "I love you."

Aria looked away uncomfortably.

"Is this about Jason?" Ezra wanted to know.

"It has nothing to do with Jason," Aria replied. "Why would you ask that?"

"A text isn't the only thing A sent me," Ezra said. "There were pictures too. You and Jason looked pretty cozy."

The note of accusation in his voice was plain and Aria couldn't believe it. Not only was he taking something completely innocent and making it sound sordid but he was taking A's word over hers.

"Do you even understand what you're doing right now?" Aria asked him. "A isn't an ally. A put me in the hospital. A is the reason I miscarried and you're acting as though A is the only one being honest with you. Because of some pictures of me with Jason?"

She stood up.

"Aria, I didn't mean it like that," Ezra said.

"It doesn't matter," Aria said. "It just proves that I'm making the right decision."

She walked to the door and paused long enough to give him a look that was full of sadness, regret but also determination.

"Good bye, Ezra," Aria said.

She didn't look back as she walked out of his office and even though she felt drained, she also felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The air seemed a little bit crisper and the colors around her a little bit brighter.

She knew she still had a lot of healing to do and god only knew what A was planning to inflict on her and her friends, but she felt like maybe, just maybe, she'd get through it.

* * *

"So what was all that Jason stuff earlier?" Emily asked.

"What are you talking about?" Spencer asked.

"You thought he'd been talking to Aria about you," Emily said. "Which means that Aria and Jason have been spending time together _and _that you're hiding something from us."

She looked back and forth between Aria and Spencer.

"So start talking," Emily finished, folding her arms across her chest.

"Why are you so fixated on Jason?" Spencer asked.

"Hello?" Emily said. "It wasn't so long ago we thought he killed Alli."

"You two thought that," Aria reminded them.

"I don't trust him," Emily said. "And I'm wondering why the two of you do."

"Jason didn't kill Alli," Spencer said firmly. "He'd never hurt any of his sisters and I should know because I'm one of them."

Hanna choked on her moo shu.

"You're what?" she coughed.

"You and Jason are related?" Emily repeated in disbelief.

"When did you find out?" Aria asked, eyes wide with shock. "Does Jason know?"

"He knew before I did," Spencer explained. "It's one of the reasons he came back. He found some letters that Alli had hidden in one of her boxes. They were letters from my dad to his mom. He started putting the pieces together from there."

"And you?" Hanna asked.

"Truth day," Spencer said. "Ironic, much?"

"So he's your half brother and what?" Emily said. "He gets an automatic clean slate? I'm sorry, no. There are still a _lot_ of unanswered questions where he's concerned. Sharing a father with you doesn't change that."

"Okay, you know what?" Spencer said. "You need to back off. Because while you were "sleeping" and Hanna was terrified that Caleb was going to die and Aria was MIA, and Tobey wasn't answering my calls, Jason was the only other person for me to turn to. And thank god he was otherwise Aria might not be here right now."

Aria flinched slightly at the reminder of her near death experience but she reached out to squeeze Spencer's hand. Of all of them, Spencer was the one with the tendency to internalize the most. She'd keep doing it until eventually she couldn't help but explode.

"I think we should change the subject," Hanna said.

"Excellent idea," Spencer said tightly.

"I broke up with Ezra," Aria offered softly.

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at her with varying degrees of surprise.

"Are you okay?" Hanna asked.

"Funny but I kind of am," Aria said. "It was my choice and I think it might be one of the better ones I've made in a while."

"I thought you two were really in love," Emily said.

"I think I loved the idea of us," Aria said. "Because it was alluring and romantic. The reality of us was…less."

"How are you really doing with…everything?" Hanna asked, displaying rare tact for once.

"If you'd told me months ago that this was going to happen," Aria said. "I wouldn't have predicted feeling the way I feel about it all. It's different…harder."

She pushed her hair behind her ears and forced herself to muster a smile.

"I just have to take every day as it comes," she said.

"I think that's all any of us can do," Spencer said.

The sound of four cell phones chiming almost in unison had the four of them exchanging wary looks before they picked up their phones.

_Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, bitches. I know I am. –A_


	5. Part IV

__**A/N Sorry for the delay in updating. I wanted to write ahead a little bit and try to get a better sense of where this is all headed. Hoping the pacing isn't too off. As always, reviews are much appreciated. Thanks to all of you out there who are reading and leaving feedback :-) Enjoy!**

* * *

_Part IV_

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Aria asked, eyeing Jason over the counter.

"Like what?" Jason asked.

"Like you don't believe that my mom sent me over here to give you thank you cookies," Aria said.

Jason smirked and Aria sighed.

"The cookies were my idea," she allowed.

"You know you don't have to make up excuses to come over," Jason said. "You're welcome any time."

"I wanted to do something nice," Aria said. "And…"

"And…" Jason prompted.

"And tell you that if you ever need to talk," Aria said. "About anything….you can talk to me."

"Spencer finally fessed up, huh?" Jason said.

Aria flushed a little bit but she nodded.

"How are you doing?" she asked. "I mean, I can only imagine…"

"Honestly, I'm mostly okay," Jason said. "I have a lot of questions and not nearly enough answers but overall I think I'm coping a lot better than I would have two years ago."

He leaned his hip against the counter.

"Peter Hastings is my father but he's not my dad, you know?" Jason said. "Besides, it' not like he's a hurry to do any father son bonding."

"And your dad?" Aria asked. "Does he know the truth?"

Jason shook his head.

"I'm pretty sure my mother would set herself on fire rather than tell him the truth," he said. "Of course she'd have to sober up to do even that."

"Spencer said that Alli's the one who found the letters," Aria said. "So she knew the whole time and never said anything?"

"Alli knew how to use secrets to her advantage," Jason said. "If there's no secret, there's no advantage."

"It makes her sound so cold," Aria said.

"It's weird right?" Jason said. "She could be so calculating but so bright too."

"Like looking at sunshine," Aria said.

"Yeah," Jason said.

He walked over to the cabinets to pull out two mugs for coffee.

"The only good thing that's come out of this is Spencer," Jason said. "It feels like a chance to make up for some of the mistakes that I made with Alli."

Aria smiled.

"I think you and Spencer make cute siblings," she said.

Jason made a face but before he could comment the doorbell rang.

"I think you better get it this time," Aria said jokingly.

Jason smiled as he left the kitchen, walking towards the front door. His smile faded though, as soon as he saw who was on the other side.

"What do you want?" he asked coolly.

"Just to talk," Detective Wilden said. "I have a couple of questions about the night you brought Aria Montgomery into the hospital."

"I already gave the police my statement," Jason said.

Wilden nodded.

"And like I said," he repeated. "I have some questions. Can I come in?"

"Not unless you have a warrant," Jason said, folding his arms across his chest.

"Fine," Wilden said. "If that's the way you want it."

Jason didn't say anything. There was no love lost between him and Wilden for so many reasons. Alli's murder and the way the investigation had been handled was only the tip of the iceberg.

"You said that Spencer Hastings called you to go look for Aria," Wilden said. "Why would she do that?"

"She was worried about Aria taking so long to get back from the Marin's house," Jason said. "I was closer than she was."

"That doesn't explain why she called _you," _Wilden said.

"It's all the explanation you're getting," Jason said. "Unless you plan on accusing me of something?"

"Not yet," Wilden retorted.

Jason watched the other man's eyes narrow and realized he was looking past Jason into the hallway where Aria was peering from the kitchen.

Wilden arched an eyebrow and smirked.

"I'll see you soon," he said.

Jason didn't bother to answer. He closed the door in Wilden's face and took pleasure in using more force than was strictly necessary.

"Why was he here?" Aria asked.

"Trying to get under my skin instead of doing his job and figuring out who attacked you," Jason said. "Or who dug up Alli's body for that matter."

Aria's brows knit into a small frown and she reached out to place her hand on his arm.

"Still no progress on that front?" she asked.

Jason shook his head no. He didn't trust himself to speak, not with the way his body was reacting to having Aria's hand on his bare skin. It was an innocent touch, he knew, meant to give comfort but he couldn't help the spark he felt. The awkward way she let her hand fall back to her side made him wonder if she felt it too.

That was the thing that had killed him all those months ago. She'd said that she was unavailable, not that she was unattracted. He'd spent hours wondering whether or not she would have given him – them – a chance if Ezra weren't in the picture.

"So," Aria said brightly, in an effort to break the sudden tension between them. "I was going to take some pictures in the park. I could use company if you're interested?"

It was on the tip of his tongue to say no, that simple touch reminding him how easy it would be to get sucked into her and how much trouble he'd be in if he let it happen. But there was a look in her eye and Jason knew that in her own way, she was trying to take care of him like he'd taken care of her. Realizing that she cared enough to try made it impossible to deny her.

"I have some files to look over," Jason said. "The park is as good a place as any. Let me grab them from upstairs."

Aria smiled and for the first since he'd found her bleeding half to death there was a hint of a sparkle in her eyes to match. He darted upstairs to collect the paperwork he needed to review and when he got back down to the kitchen it was to find that Aria had packed up some of the cookies and poured coffee into two travel mugs.

They opted to walk instead of drive since it was a beautiful day and the air was crisp rather than chilly. When they got to the park, Jason set himself up under one of the massive trees lining the various walkways. The coffee and cookies stayed with him while Aria wandered around, camera ready to capture whatever struck her fancy.

Jason tried diligently to get his work done but he found himself constantly looking up and locking eyes on Aria. Part of it was out of concern and a need to make sure nothing happened to her but part of it was sheer compulsion. His eyes were drawn to her and he sometimes felt as if he couldn't see past her – her smile, the way the sunlight gleamed in her hair, the graceful way she moved.

Sighing, Jason set aside the folders in his lap and leaned back into the tree behind him. There was no more point pretending that he was going to get anything done. Reaching for his mug of coffee, he indulged himself.

Almost as if she could feel his eyes on her, Aria turned in his direction. She grinned and pointed her camera at him. Jason shook his head in amusement as she snapped a couple of shots and then turned away to focus on something else.

His cell phone chirped and Jason looked down to find he had a text from CeCe. Apparently she wanted to talk. His lips flattened into a displeased line as he deleted the message. He had nothing to say to her at this point. He didn't even know why she was in town. He was hoping that if he kept ignoring her, she would go away. So far no such luck.

Jason scanned the field in front of him, looking for Aria and frowned when he realized that she was standing still, her camera loosely at her side rather than targeted towards anything. He followed her line of sight and felt something tighten in his chest. Getting to his feet, he jogged over to her and put an arm around her shoulder.

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah," Aria said.

But she didn't turn away from the toddler walking towards its mother on unsteady legs.

"Sure about that?" Jason asked.

"I never thought about it," Aria said. "Whether or not I actually wanted to have kids. It was always some vague blurry thing in the back of my mind under the heading "future"."

"And now?"

"Now, I know it's something that I really want," Aria said. "This just wasn't the time for it and Ezra wasn't the right guy."

"He wasn't?" Jason asked.

Aria shook her head and finally looked over at him.

"Turns out he wasn't the right guy for a lot of things," she said.

Jason cocked his head to one side.

"You say that like it's over," he said.

"It is," Aria admitted.

"Does he know that?" Jason asked.

"I went to his office yesterday," Aria said. "Broke things off."

"Huh," Jason said.

"Huh?" Aria repeated, somewhat indignantly. "What kind of a reaction is 'huh'?"

Jason dodged out of the way of the elbow she'd playfully aimed at his stomach and couldn't help but grin.

"I'm surprised," he said.

"That I broke it off?" Aria asked.

Jason shook his head.

"At my reaction," he said. "I actually kind of feel sorry for the guy."

"Why?" Aria wanted to know.

Jason's smile turned into something softer but somehow more intense.

"Because he's going to regret losing you for the rest of his life," Jason said. "If he doesn't, he's an even bigger idiot than I thought."

"Why'd you think he was an idiot in the first place?" Aria asked.

"Does it matter?" Jason said.

"I'm curious," Aria said.

Jason sighed.

"You deserved the best from him and he didn't give it to you," Jason said. "That makes him an idiot."

"You're sweet," Aria said.

Jason made another face at her.

"First it was cute, now sweet," he said. "You gotta stop labeling me, Montgomery."

"I'm sorry," Aria said teasingly. "Am I offending your masculine vanity?"

"Something like that," Jason said.

He glanced at his watch.

"Not that the cookies weren't great," he said. "But I could use some real food. Want to grab a bite at the Apple Rose?"

"Only if you let it be my treat," Aria said.

"If you insist," Jason said. "Who am I to argue?"

* * *

Aria tried her best not to stare at Jason as they waited for their food to arrive but it wasn't easy. Her awareness of his physical beauty wasn't new but it felt different somehow. The ease she'd felt being around him lately was tinged with something more charged now, a little electric even. Aria wasn't sure what to do about it. Assuming she should do anything about it.

She'd just broken up with Ezra and she'd been through a lot the last few weeks – last few months or years even if you wanted to get technical. Pushing the boundaries with Jason was a bad idea, especially knowing how he felt about her. But Aria was tempted all the same.

"Have one," Jason said.

Aria blinked and realized that the waitress had put a basket of apple fritters on the table between them.

"I shouldn't," Aria said, but her fingers were already closing around one of the sugary spheres. She bit into it and groaned. "That is way too good," she said.

"Have another," Jason said.

Another turned out to be two more so between them, they made pretty short work of the basket.

"I feel like a pig," Aria said, licking her fingers.

"You have sugar right there," Jason said, indicating the side of her face.

Aria's tongue darted out to lick around her lips and although she noticed Jason's eyes darken a little, he was still shaking his head.

"Here," he said, reaching across the table to wipe away the smudge of powdered sugar from her cheek.

There shouldn't have been anything sexual about it but Aria felt tingles gathering in her stomach anyway. The fact that Jason instinctively licked the sugar from his thumb afterwards didn't help any. Aria could feel the flush creeping up her cheeks but thankfully she was saved further embarrassment when the waitress arrived with their meals.

"Well look who it is."

Jason and Aria looked up to find CeCe Drake standing next to their table.

"What do you want?" Jason asked, his voice dripping ice.

"I told you we need to talk," CeCe said.

"And I would have thought that me not answering your texts or your calls would be proof enough that I have nothing to say to you," Jason said.

"It's about Alli," CeCe said.

"What about her?" Jason asked.

"Not here," CeCe said. "Meet me later."

Jason gave a bitter snort.

"You just can't help playing games, can you?" Jason said.

"This isn't a game," CeCe said. "This is about your sister, your _dead_ sister. If you want to know what happened to her that night and what happened to you for that matter, then you need to hear me out."

Jason gave her a mulish look and CeCe sighed.

"Look," she said. "I'm going to be at the shop until 10. Come find me."

She walked away and it took Jason a few seconds before he could relax enough to look at Aria. She looked worried.

"Sorry about that," Jason said.

Aria ignored his apology.

"Jason, if CeCe knows something about what happened to Allison, you have to find out what it is," Aria said.

"CeCe is not someone I trust," Jason said. "Who's to say anything she tells me is even the truth?"

"You won't know unless you listen to her," Aria pointed out. "And the fact that she said something about something happening to you and not just Alli…"

Jason frowned.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"Whoever wrote you that note wanted you to think that you'd hurt Alli," Aria said. "What if they went further? There might be a reason you don't remember that night."

"Aria, I was completely loaded," Jason said. "That's why I don't remember."

"What if it wasn't just that though?" Aria pressed.

"You really want me to hear her out, don't you?" Jason asked.

Aria nodded.

"Fine," Jason said. "I'll talk to her. I just hope I don't regret it."

_Me too, _Aria thought to herself. _Me too._


	6. Part V

**A/N: I ran into some writer's block on the chapter after this. Still haven't totally sorted it but figured I'd post this anyway. Also, and y'all probably noticed this but I really like the relationship between Jason and Spencer so that'll get some time in this story as well. I'm not as into the action element of PLL so if certain plot twists are thrown in but not labored over, then that's why. Enjoy! Reviews are always welcome. :-)**

* * *

Part V

Byron Montgomery glanced at his watch. It was almost ten o'clock.

"It's a little late for a social call," Byron noted.

"I know, I'm sorry," Jason said. "But I literally just got back into town and it's important that I speak to Aria."

"I think I'd feel more comfortable," Byron began.

"Dad, it's okay," Aria interrupted, coming down the stairs. Her eyes were fixed on his and Jason could see equal parts concern and confusion in them. He couldn't blame her for that. It had been nearly two weeks since she last heard from him. He'd be confused too in her shoes.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Aria ignored her father's slightly disapproving look and reached for Jason's hand to lead him back outside. She made sure to close the front door behind them.

"Where have you been?" she asked Jason. "You just…took off."

"I'm sorry," Jason said. "I took the train down to New York to see Frankie."

"Frankie?" Aria repeated. "Who's Frankie?"

"My sponsor," Jason said. "I needed someone to screw my head on straight because…"

He let out a harsh breath and started to pace in front of the door.

"I made a decision to turn my life around after Alli went missing," Jason said. "I look back to the guy that I was back then and I don't ever want to be him again."

"Why would you even be worried about that?" Aria asked.

"According to CeCe and a conversation that she had with Eric Khan," Jason said. "Garrett and Jenna are the ones who wrote the note I found the morning after Alli disappeared."

Aria's eyes widened.

"There's more," Jason said. "Eric seems to think that they decided not to take a chance on me remembering anything about that night so they drugged me. Considering how loaded I would have been anyway, it's a miracle they didn't kill me too."

Aria looked horrified.

"How would Eric know something like that?" she asked.

Jason shook his head.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was one of the people that Ian and Garrett brought into the NAT Club after I walked away," Jason said. "Who knows what they might have said to him."

He ran agitated hands through his hair.

"I probably wouldn't even believe it if Garrett hadn't come to me a while back, before he got arrested," Jason said. "He wanted to make sure I wasn't going to tell anyone about the videos, said it had to do with his reputation now that he was a cop."

Jason finally stopped pacing and came to a stop in front of her. All the torment he was feeling was reflected in his eyes.

"Ian was already dead, we all thought he'd killed Alli," Jason said. "I had nothing to gain from exposing Garrett and everything to lose. He knew that. But he still felt the need to bring it up. The only reason he'd do that is if he had more to lose…"

"Like someone finding out that he killed Alli," Aria supplied.

Jason ran his hands over his face.

"I don't know if he's the one who killed her," Jason said. "But he was there, he was involved. And if Spencer and I had never turned that bracelet in, he'd still be in jail."

"Don't do that to yourself," Aria said. "You and Spencer were just following the evidence, trying to get to the truth."

"Worked a treat, didn't it?" Jason said bitterly.

He shook his head again and walked down the front steps towards the sidewalk before he turned back to face her.

"I thought I had a handle on the guilt," Jason said. "Somehow realizing how carefully they planned to kill her makes it worse. I don't know how I'm supposed to live with the fact that I helped him get away with it. That's why I went to see Frankie- because the only thing I do know is that I don't want to live with it at the bottom of a bottle or high on drugs."

Aria felt her heart squeeze in her chest as she walked towards him, stopping on the third step so they were eye level. She reached out and put a hand on each of his shoulders.

"Hey, look at me," she said.

For a few seconds Jason looked everywhere but at her and when he finally did lock eyes with her, Aria could see the tears that he was fighting back.

"I know it doesn't seem like it now," Aria said. "But sooner or later the truth about what happened to Alli will come out. And the people who hurt her are going to get what they deserve."

"I wish I could believe that," Jason said.

"I'll believe it enough for the both of us until you can," Aria said.

"I shouldn't have put all this on you," Jason said. "You've been through enough."

"I'm glad you did," Aria said. "I like that we can lean on each other. It's less…lonely that way."

Jason reached up and pushed a lock of hair away from her face, his fingers skimming the soft skin of her cheek.

"You are so beautiful," he said softly.

His thumb brushed over her mouth and Aria's lips parted. She couldn't look away from him and he didn't seem to be able to tear his eyes off of her either. She could feel his gaze locked on her lips before it flicked upwards and whatever questions he had, he must have found the answers in her eyes because the next thing Aria knew, he was kissing her. _Really_ kissing her. It was nothing like the one and only other time they'd kissed. That had been sweet and gentle. This was urgent and demanding and Aria didn't hesitate for even half a heartbeat before kissing him back.

Her arms wound themselves tighter around his neck and her fingers threaded through his hair. His hands framed her face and his tongue probed the seam of her mouth until she opened to him. Their tongues surged and stroked against each other. The sweet wildness of it all was utterly intoxicating. The need to breathe forced them apart and Aria found herself resenting every second that passed without Jason's lips on hers.

He'd just sucked her bottom lip into his mouth when a throat cleared itself loudly behind them.

"I think it's time for you to come inside Aria," Byron said, his tone not brooking any argument.

Slowly, Jason's hands fell away from her face and Aria reluctantly stepped away from him.

"I'll call you tomorrow," she said quietly.

Jason nodded and watched her disappear inside the house. Byron gave him a narrow eyed look but didn't say anything before he followed his daughter and firmly shut the door.

Jason let out a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding as he climbed into his car and started the drive home. Kissing Aria was not what he'd had in mind when he first sought her out but he'd be damned if he regretted it. He knew the timing was probably still off – she was still recovering from what had happened to her and he was feeling none too stable himself – but that didn't seem to matter.

From the second their lips touched, he'd been completely lost to her. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before and he couldn't help wanting to experience it again.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Spencer said.

Jason blinked and realized that he'd been sitting in his parked car, in front of his house for the best part of the last five minutes, completely lost in his thoughts about the softness of Aria's lips under his and the addictiveness of the way she tasted on his tongue.

"Not worth a penny," Jason said lightly, pushing his door open and climbing out. He studied Spencer in the dim light afforded by the street lamp. "You okay? Your parents around?"

Spencer shook her head.

"They're in Philly visiting Melissa," Spencer said.

"I'm surprised you're not taking advantage to spend time alone with Tobey," Jason said.

"Yeah, well, I'd have to find him first," Spencer said. "I can't seem to get ahold of him."

Jason frowned.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked.

"No," Spencer denied.

Jason arched an eyebrow.

"I don't know," Spencer said. "Maybe? Guys are so weird."

Jason smothered a laugh.

"Girls aren't without their complications either," he pointed out. "Wanna talk about it?"

Spencer bit her lip.

"I have ice cream," Jason said.

"Well why didn't you say so," Spencer said.

"By the way," Jason said as they walked towards his house. "You're more than welcome to stay at my place if you don't feel like being on your own at home. I'd offer to come stay over there but I think your dad would have an apoplexy if he found out about it."

"He's your dad too," Spencer reminded him.

"In genetics only," Jason said.

"This is going to sound stupid," Spencer said as they walked through the hallway and into the kitchen. "And no offense or anything, but you used to be kind of a jerk."

"None taken," Jason said wryly, reaching into the freezer for the ice cream.

"But even knowing that, I still feel cheated," Spencer said.

"It's not stupid," Jason said turning to face her. "It does feel like we have a lot of lost time to make up for."

He smiled at her.

"But I don't think we're doing too badly," he said.

"No," Spencer agreed. "I don't think we are."

She took a bite of her ice cream.

"Tobey and I had sex and now he won't return my calls," she said in a rush before taking another bite of ice cream.

Jason choked and gave her a disbelieving look.

"What?" Spencer asked with a shrug. "You asked if I wanted to talk about it. Besides, isn't this what brothers are for?"

Jason cleared his throat but there was a grin playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah," he said. "I guess it is."

* * *

"Aria, can we speak with you?" Byron asked from the kitchen doorway.

"Dad, I'm going to be late for school," Aria said, slinging her purse over her shoulder and scooping up her keys.

"This is important," Byron said.

"Look, if it's about last night," Aria started.

She broke off when she realized that her mother - who'd moved back into her own apartment two weeks ago - and Meredith were sitting at the kitchen table.

"What is this?" Aria asked. "Some kind of intervention?"

"Frankly, yes," Byron said, putting a hand on her shoulder to guide her towards the kitchen.

Aria shrugged him off and folded her arms across her chest.

"I'm fine," she said. "So whatever you think this is going to accomplish, you're wrong."

"Your father has some concerns," Ella said as Byron sat down between her and Meredith. "And after hearing what he had to say, I share them."

"Why is she here?" Aria asked, nodding towards Meredith.

"Meredith is going to be a part of our lives, a part of this family," Byron said. "I think we all need to get used to that."

Aria rolled her eyes.

"Sweetheart, I know a month can seem like forever when you're 17," Ella began. "But it's not. And it's going to take more than a month for you deal with the emotional fall out of what happened to you."

"I don't need you to tell me that," Aria said. "In case you forgot, I'm the one that's living it."

"What your mother is saying," Byron said. "Is that we want you to take all the time you need and get all the help you need. But that help has to come from the right places."

"The right places?" Aria repeated skeptically.

"Yes," Byron said. "If you're not comfortable talking to us then your mother and I think it might be time for you to speak to Dr. Sullivan again."

Aria shook her head.

"I was right before," she said. "This is about last night."

"We just don't think it's a good idea for you to be involved with Jason when you're still this vulnerable," Ella began. "And…"

"Jason and I are not involved," Aria said.

"Aria, I saw you," Byron said.

"You saw one kiss," Aria said. "I understand how given your history, you might make the assumption that there's more to it, but there's not."

"Aria!" Ella scolded.

"We're friends and he's been there for me," Aria said. "And in case it slipped your mind, he's the one who saved my life."

"And we will be eternally grateful," Ella said. "But that's exactly why we're worried that whatever feelings you think you have for him aren't real."

"You know," Aria said. "It would be a lot easier for me to believe you if I didn't get the feeling that this intervention was more about controlling what I do and who with than it is about helping me."

She turned to leave but shot her father a look over her shoulder.

"And Dad?" she said. "Meredith might be a part of _your_ family but she's not a part of mine. I'm pretty sure that's how Mike's going to feel too."

With that parting shot, Aria slammed her way out of the house. Thankfully Emily was already at the curb waiting for her.

"You okay?" Emily asked as Aria climbed into the car.

"My parents decided this morning would be a good morning to freak out on me," Aria said. "Where's Hanna?"

"Her mom drove her to the hospital to see Caleb," Emily explained. "He's being released later today."

"That's great," Aria said. "Finally, something good happens around here."

"Yeah," Emily said. "Wonder how long it will last?"

The rest of the drive to school took place in contemplative silence and the girls went their separate ways to their first period classes. Aria was just getting books out of her locker when she spotted Jason.

"Hey, you," she said.

"Hey," Jason said.

"What are you doing here?" Aria asked.

"Back to work in the guidance counselor's office," Jason said. "Frankie suggested I get back to it, said it would be a good way to get me out of my own head."

Aria smiled as she shut her locker.

"So listen," Jason said. "I was thinking maybe we should talk about what happened last night because…"

Aria put a finger to his lips.

"Not here," she said. "Give me a ride home later?"

"Sure," Jason said.

Aria shot him another smile before she headed off to her class. Jason watched her go, wondering if she would ever stop surprising him.

He hoped not.


End file.
